When Honesty About Adult Friendship Actually Works
A follow-up to "Why Making Friends at 35 is Harder Than Dating"
You guys, I have to share what happened after I published my first blog post about adult friendship being harder than dating. Because sometimes when you put yourself out there authentically, the universe actually delivers.
The Message That Made My Week
Three days after hitting "publish" on that vulnerable post about friendship struggles, I noticed a comment from someone I hadn't seen in way too long. Then my phone buzzed with a message from her:
"We should actually get together. How about Thursday?"
And just like that, she did exactly what I'd been hoping someone would do – she was specific, available, and actually followed through.
The Ice Cream Date That Reminded Me Why Friendship Matters
We met for ice cream on Thursday afternoon. I'll be honest – I had that tiny moment of panic that happens before seeing an old friend. You know the one: "What if we don't have anything to talk about anymore? What if it's awkward? What if we've both changed too much?"
Those fears lasted exactly until we sat down with our banana splits.
Within minutes, we were deep into everything: our kids' latest phases, work stress, marriage updates, health scares, family drama – basically everything you can possibly cover before your ice cream turns to soup.
Sharing Cabot’s ice cream together!
What Made This Reconnection Actually Work
Looking back, here's what made this different from the usual "we should get together sometime" interactions that never happen:
She Commented First, Then Took Action
Instead of just liking the post, she actually engaged with the content. She left a comment, and then followed up with direct action - reaching out privately with a specific plan.
She Was Specific About Availability
Not "let's grab coffee soon" but "How about Thursday?" This is friendship gold, people. Give people actual options they can say yes or no to.
She Didn't Overthink It
No long message about how it's been forever and we need to catch up and maybe sometime when schedules align... Just: "We should get together. Here are two days that work."
We Both Showed Up Ready to Go Deep
Maybe because the blog post had already established that we're both navigating the complexity of adult life, we skipped right past surface-level catching up to the real stuff.
The Conversation That Validated Everything
As we talked, she shared something that made me realize the blog post had worked exactly as intended. She'd been thinking about this exact thing too – how challenging it is to maintain friendships when everyone's juggling so much. She mentioned that reading my post made her realize she kept waiting for the "perfect time" to reach out, but there's never going to be a perfect time.
Yes. Exactly. This is why I write about this stuff.
What This Taught Me About Putting Yourself Out There
Authenticity Is Magnetic
When you share something real about your experience, it gives other people permission to be real too. My friend felt safe reaching out because I'd already admitted that adult friendship is complicated for all of us.
People Are Waiting for Someone Else to Make the First Move
She'd been thinking about reaching out for months but needed that little push. My blog post wasn't just about my friendship struggles – it reminded her of her own.
Specific Invitations Get Results
"Monday or Wednesday" beats "we should catch up soon" every single time. When you give people actual options, they can actually respond.
Old Friendships Can Pick Up Where They Left Off
We hadn't seen each other in probably two years, but good friendship foundation doesn't just disappear. We slipped back into our dynamic like no time had passed.
Your Assignment (If You Want to Take It)
Think of one person you've been meaning to reach out to – maybe someone who came to mind when you read my original post about adult friendship.
Now text them this week with a specific time you're available. See what happens.
Because here's what I learned from my Thursday afternoon ice cream date: most of us are just waiting for someone else to make the first move.
When you put yourself out there authentically – whether it's in a blog post, a text message, or a conversation – you give other people permission to do the same.
And sometimes, that's exactly what everyone needs to turn "we should get together sometime" into banana splits on a Thursday afternoon.
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Have your own friendship success story? I'd love to hear about it! Send me a message or leave a comment below.